Mindfulness to me is making a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to. It is really not about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death. everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential. 😀
I just came back from a solo trip. As I wander the streets of Madrid on my own.. I notice the subtle thoughts of vigilance and anxiety of being alone. I love travelling alone but the worries and voices of my family and friends weigh upon me.. And I sense that I owe it to them to be safe. In no time I can sense my jaws tensing.. My hands and my chest. How is it we live a life of tension thinking that it's normal and what we should be doing. I bought an ice cream.. Sat on a bench and let the sweetness melt in my mouth.. Feel the breeze in my face. Soften my jaws.. Hands and chest. This moment is safe.
I can relate... I really love solo travelling as well, but my practice helps me keep in mind the concern of my loved ones and so I remind myself to stay safe and keep well...
I really enjoy books. Reading books have taught me so much over the years - from knowledge and wisdom, to language, humour, and creativity.
Owning books, on the other hand, has offered me interesting insights into my tendencies of attachment.As I was decluttering and reorganising my personal library recently, I realised just how much I like the IDEA of possessing books.So much so that I often forget which books I already have and end up purchasing multiple copies of them over the years.Some books sit mostly untouched on the shelves.I recall times when I walked out of Kinokuniya stores with hundreds of dollars worth of books, and when I compulsively bought random publications on Amazon.Perhaps the underlying motivation of buying books is not so much to read and learn, but to FEEL like I have read and learned, just from having them.Owning books also then becomes a part of my identity, so that I can say "I have this book too!" and "Oh, I bought this one long ago!" during conversations.And of course, it doesn't help that digital books don't work for me, and I only buy printed ones.While I don't usually have a hard time letting go of most material things, renouncing books has been a rather challenging experience.This is one aspect of my life I find difficult to simplify.What about you? What in your life do you find hard to simplify or let go?#nianLife#reminder#liveBetter#books#reading#buying#owning#declutter#attachment#identity#things#lettingGo#simplify
In light of the recent discussions about the Dalai Lama, I am reminded of a very important and sensible teaching that I have found helpful in guiding my spiritual journey.
The Buddha taught:
"I must state clearly that my teaching is a method to experience reality and not reality itself, just as a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon itself.
An intelligent person makes use of the finger to see the moon. A person who only looks at the finger and mistakes it for the moon will never see the real moon.
My teaching is a means of practice, not something to hold onto or worship."
(Source: Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha, by Thich Nhat Hanh)
The finger pointing at the moon, is not the moon.
Attaching ourselves to spiritual leaders or teachers, doctrines, and even philosophies only serves to hinder us from true progress on our path of growth.
The ability to discern is absolutely necessary for wise and mindful living.
I first traveled to Dubai at the age of 26. Back then, everything seemed so shiny. I was curious and energetic, and I coveted all that the City of Gold had to offer. I had a blast.
I returned to Dubai at the age of 40. And what a difference 14 years make! The city is now shinier, brighter, glossier than ever, but I no longer found it exhilarating.
I knew I could not keep up, so I slowed down, and once again invited curiosity to my experience. The quality of curiosity, I realised, was not the same as before.
The curiosity at 26 stemmed from a place of depravation - a need to do something, feel something, get something all the time. Every moment had to be filled with activity and pleasure, or I felt I wasn’t living.
In contrast, this curiosity at 40 comes more from a place of allowing. Allowing changes. Allowing uncertainty. Allowing nothing to happen. Allowing spontaneous laughter. Allowing both connection and disconnection. Allowing interest to arise on its own. Allowing discomfort. Allowing exhaustion. Allowing fear. A “see what happens” approach to most things.
I’d have to say, I very much prefer the 40 year-old kind of curiosity. It’s just so much wiser.
The past is important - it tells us about the causes and conditions that have led us to where we are right now. This is how we learn from the past. But obsessing over what has already happened is futile.
The future is important - it allows us to imagine possibilities and envision how life could potentially be. But simply fantasizing and hoping without action is also pretty pointless.
The present matters the most - real change can only happen in the present. It is only when we attend to the present that we are able to clearly observe what’s going on, self-regulate, let go of past patterns, and steer ourselves in the direction of the future we want.
Sometimes staying present can feel like one of the most challenging experiences for us, and yet it is the only time we are truly alive and productive.
I walk by this nature's creation every day on the way to the bus stop. When it first caught my eye, I thought hundreds of ants had invaded some bird's nest. I felt shivers down my spine.
Upon closer observation and some research, I have come to know this as a weaver ant nest, painstakingly put together by the collective efforts of a colony of ants.
This nest was about the size of a toddler's head.
I thought about how these ants had spent hour after hour working as a team to fold and fasten these leaves together with their silk threads, silently, one tiny bit at a time. Likely no complaints - only patience and perseverance, patience and perseverance.
And the finished product was strong and resilient. It braved countless rainy days in February 2023.
Recently I noticed that some leaves have turned brown. Very soon, the ants will have to abandon this nest and start on a new one somewhere else suitable. Such is the impermanence of life.
Still, I'm sure they'd have absolutely no complaints.
I reflected on my own practice and the work I do. If these little beings could embody such unconditional faith in their individual and collective ability to contribute to their ecosystem, what excuse did I have?
I have drastic changes going on in my life right now. The big theme is impermanence. But also the middle path, the walking, and execution of our desires without striving or grasping. It feels like a dance every day. Mortality issues keep showing as well, as a close uncle pass away recently last month, and my dad had a major medical episode on NYE as well.
Despite the sadness and grief, there is a profound appreciation for the moment. Courage to take steps not taken in the past. Letting go of the inconsequential.. but also deep gratitude for the simple.
Maybe everyone be well and healthy!
Below is a photo of qing ming last year, was the first time I 扫墓 in Malaysia (saying this with a bit of embarrassment). I happen to go with my uncle and my dad then. Hence reflecting on the changes that have happened since, it's quite surreal and extremely humbling.
Thank you for sharing this precious reflection Jace. I really appreciate what you wrote here: "Courage to take steps not taken in the past. Letting go of the inconsequential.. but also deep gratitude for the simple."
It is definitely not easy as you have always sung so beautifully from your heart. I am confident that you will eventually be at ease with all the impermanence in your life. And YES you are incredibly more than your ability to sing! 🔆
How do you feel about leaving your belongings unattended like this at a public space?I kind of love it. I feel warmth when the stranger sitting next to me replies “oh yes, of course!” to my request for them to help look after my things while I make a trip to the restroom.And I gladly do the same when others ask this of me; I feel joy knowing that they can have some peace of mind while attending to nature’s call. 😉I love it, not because I’m reckless, but because I appreciate that I feel safe enough to do so where I live. This to me is the mark of a healthy, well-regulated society, where we practice virtuous conduct, respect boundaries, and also have the capacity to be kind and look out for one another in little ways when needed.I’m not saying I do this anywhere and all the time, but I do relish these precious little social moments in the city I inhabit.Anybody with similar or different experiences?#nianlife#reminder#livebetter#mindfulness#social#city#health#wellbeing
A ride at the head of the train this week invited me to reflect on the times I have been approaching things and making decisions through tunnel vision.While there is usually a high level of focus with tunnel vision, our attention is also narrowed, selective, and restricted to that one goal or one perspective. The state of mind and body is often tensed. We tend to get stuck in our biases, many of which are unconscious, and we lose sight of possibilities and the fact that we do have other options.I reminded myself that mindfulness meditation is not primarily a practice of such intense focus. We cultivate the ability to sustain our attention on an object of attention, and we also train the mind to be aware of everything else that’s happening in our experience.This kind of attention is more relaxed, open, expansive, inclusive, all-encompassing. When we operate from such capacity, we see everything more clearly, and this clarity has the potential to liberate us from getting stuck in thoughts, emotions, opinions, beliefs in the headspace.The key to making this learning effective is the ability to bring this practice of open awareness “off the cushion” and into our life. This is when insight gets developed into lived wisdom.#tunnelvision#openawareness#nianlife#reminder#livebetter#mindfulness#learning
What would you call this - freedom or loneliness?My instinctive answer is "freedom", because it's a value close to heart, although I do acknowledge traces of loneliness I sometimes feel that drive me to nurture deeper connections with others.While meaningful relationships are key to our social health, we also practice a lot of solitude in mindful living - being by ourselves , learning to be at ease with whatever that arises in our mind and body, and taking ownership of our own life.This solitude doesn't mean we are lonely, because we know that even when we are alone, we do not exist or function independently of others, and we are a part of the larger ecosystem.In other words, we are never really alone.I'm curious - what would be your answer to this question, and why?#freedom#loneliness#solitude#mindfulliving#connection#nianlife#health#wellbeing
Absolutely, this is such an important practice. Sharing the link to your post specifically on the Eight Worldly Concerns:https://www.nianlife.com/forum/general-nian/the-eight-worldly-mundane-concerns
I had the opportunity to reflect on this Chinese phrase during a recent visit to a meditation centre in Malaysia."舍得" (shě de) means "the willingness to part with".When we deconstruct the phrase, "舍" (shě) is to "give up", while "得" (dé) is "to gain".This attitude about life teaches us that we can only gain something when we are willing to give up or part with something else we have been holding on to.Of course, this does not mean that we give up in order to gain (like giving up old clothes so we can buy more new clothes, or selling your old car so you can splurge on a shiny new one), or we might get caught in the cycle of endless desires and dissatisfaction with what we have.I thought about how we practice "renunciation" in mindful urban living. We learn to part with what we could become attached to, from objects, experiences and desires, to ideologies and self-identities. While we may not go for the bigger renunciations like monastics do, we recognize that this "learning to part with" invites space to welcome something we intuitively know is better for our wellbeing.For me, parting with material possessions invites room for simplicity.Parting with memories and fantasies invites the ability to be more present with what's actually here with me.Parting with making judgements invites more kindness to myself and others.Parting with self-destructive habits invites the capacity to function more healthily.Parting with the need to control what I can't, invites freedom to do what I can.Parting with a belief invites more options and possibilities.Parting with a self-identity invites the chance to be more authentic.This is what "舍得" (shě de) means to me.And it's a really challenging practice, I have to admit. Every single day I'm discovering something new about renunciation.What about you? What are you learning to part with, and what are you inviting into your life as a result?#nianlife#mindfulness#renunciation#shede#urbanlife#wellbeing#reminder#livebetter
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Mindfulness to me is making a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to. It is really not about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death. everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential. 😀
I just came back from a solo trip. As I wander the streets of Madrid on my own.. I notice the subtle thoughts of vigilance and anxiety of being alone. I love travelling alone but the worries and voices of my family and friends weigh upon me.. And I sense that I owe it to them to be safe. In no time I can sense my jaws tensing.. My hands and my chest. How is it we live a life of tension thinking that it's normal and what we should be doing. I bought an ice cream.. Sat on a bench and let the sweetness melt in my mouth.. Feel the breeze in my face. Soften my jaws.. Hands and chest. This moment is safe.
I really enjoy books. Reading books have taught me so much over the years - from knowledge and wisdom, to language, humour, and creativity.
Owning books, on the other hand, has offered me interesting insights into my tendencies of attachment. As I was decluttering and reorganising my personal library recently, I realised just how much I like the IDEA of possessing books. So much so that I often forget which books I already have and end up purchasing multiple copies of them over the years. Some books sit mostly untouched on the shelves. I recall times when I walked out of Kinokuniya stores with hundreds of dollars worth of books, and when I compulsively bought random publications on Amazon. Perhaps the underlying motivation of buying books is not so much to read and learn, but to FEEL like I have read and learned, just from having them. Owning books also then becomes a part of my identity, so that I can say "I have this book too!" and "Oh, I bought this one long ago!" during conversations. And of course, it doesn't help that digital books don't work for me, and I only buy printed ones. While I don't usually have a hard time letting go of most material things, renouncing books has been a rather challenging experience. This is one aspect of my life I find difficult to simplify. What about you? What in your life do you find hard to simplify or let go? #nianLife #reminder #liveBetter #books #reading #buying #owning #declutter #attachment #identity #things #lettingGo #simplify
In light of the recent discussions about the Dalai Lama, I am reminded of a very important and sensible teaching that I have found helpful in guiding my spiritual journey.
The Buddha taught:
"I must state clearly that my teaching is a method to experience reality and not reality itself, just as a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon itself.
An intelligent person makes use of the finger to see the moon. A person who only looks at the finger and mistakes it for the moon will never see the real moon.
My teaching is a means of practice, not something to hold onto or worship."
(Source: Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha, by Thich Nhat Hanh)
The finger pointing at the moon, is not the moon.
Attaching ourselves to spiritual leaders or teachers, doctrines, and even philosophies only serves to hinder us from true progress on our path of growth.
The ability to discern is absolutely necessary for wise and mindful living.
#nianLife#reminder#liveBetter
I first traveled to Dubai at the age of 26. Back then, everything seemed so shiny. I was curious and energetic, and I coveted all that the City of Gold had to offer. I had a blast.
I returned to Dubai at the age of 40. And what a difference 14 years make! The city is now shinier, brighter, glossier than ever, but I no longer found it exhilarating.
I knew I could not keep up, so I slowed down, and once again invited curiosity to my experience. The quality of curiosity, I realised, was not the same as before.
The curiosity at 26 stemmed from a place of depravation - a need to do something, feel something, get something all the time. Every moment had to be filled with activity and pleasure, or I felt I wasn’t living.
In contrast, this curiosity at 40 comes more from a place of allowing. Allowing changes. Allowing uncertainty. Allowing nothing to happen. Allowing spontaneous laughter. Allowing both connection and disconnection. Allowing interest to arise on its own. Allowing discomfort. Allowing exhaustion. Allowing fear. A “see what happens” approach to most things.
I’d have to say, I very much prefer the 40 year-old kind of curiosity. It’s just so much wiser.
#nianLife#reminder#liveBetter#mindfulness#travels#curiosity#allowing
Present moment, anyone?
The past is important - it tells us about the causes and conditions that have led us to where we are right now. This is how we learn from the past. But obsessing over what has already happened is futile.
The future is important - it allows us to imagine possibilities and envision how life could potentially be. But simply fantasizing and hoping without action is also pretty pointless.
The present matters the most - real change can only happen in the present. It is only when we attend to the present that we are able to clearly observe what’s going on, self-regulate, let go of past patterns, and steer ourselves in the direction of the future we want.
Sometimes staying present can feel like one of the most challenging experiences for us, and yet it is the only time we are truly alive and productive.
May we all find ease in the present. 🙏🏼
#nianlife #reminder #livebetter #present #past #future
How amazing is this?
I walk by this nature's creation every day on the way to the bus stop. When it first caught my eye, I thought hundreds of ants had invaded some bird's nest. I felt shivers down my spine.
Upon closer observation and some research, I have come to know this as a weaver ant nest, painstakingly put together by the collective efforts of a colony of ants.
This nest was about the size of a toddler's head.
I thought about how these ants had spent hour after hour working as a team to fold and fasten these leaves together with their silk threads, silently, one tiny bit at a time. Likely no complaints - only patience and perseverance, patience and perseverance.
And the finished product was strong and resilient. It braved countless rainy days in February 2023.
Recently I noticed that some leaves have turned brown. Very soon, the ants will have to abandon this nest and start on a new one somewhere else suitable. Such is the impermanence of life.
Still, I'm sure they'd have absolutely no complaints.
I reflected on my own practice and the work I do. If these little beings could embody such unconditional faith in their individual and collective ability to contribute to their ecosystem, what excuse did I have?
I have drastic changes going on in my life right now. The big theme is impermanence. But also the middle path, the walking, and execution of our desires without striving or grasping. It feels like a dance every day. Mortality issues keep showing as well, as a close uncle pass away recently last month, and my dad had a major medical episode on NYE as well.
Despite the sadness and grief, there is a profound appreciation for the moment. Courage to take steps not taken in the past. Letting go of the inconsequential.. but also deep gratitude for the simple.
Maybe everyone be well and healthy!
Below is a photo of qing ming last year, was the first time I 扫墓 in Malaysia (saying this with a bit of embarrassment). I happen to go with my uncle and my dad then. Hence reflecting on the changes that have happened since, it's quite surreal and extremely humbling.
Yesterday was one of those days where I had to squarely face my limitations and admit, “hey, this is difficult for you now.”
Singing suddenly became effortful, something I struggled with.
I became overwhelmed with frustration and disappointment at this undesirable shift in my abilities, and felt offended by myself even.
I fought back tears in the recording studio, and wanted to call it quits right there and then.
And it dawned on me just how unkind I was to myself.
This morning I practiced seeing the realities of my life and acknowledging the conditions that led to last night’s episode:
🫶🏼 There is wear and tear in the body as I age.
🫶🏼 I do not have the capacity and resources to keep up with this aspect of my life right now.
🫶🏼 Though this ⬆️ may also change.
🫶🏼 Lack of practice ➡️ loss of skills. This applies to all abilities!
🫶🏼 I have become attached to the idea that “Erin sings”, and formed a part of my identity and self-esteem around it.
🫶🏼 I am more than my ability to sing.
As unpleasant as this may feel, there is something about confronting the truth of life that helps ease the mind.
#nianlife #reminder #livebetter #truth #ease
How do you feel about leaving your belongings unattended like this at a public space? I kind of love it. I feel warmth when the stranger sitting next to me replies “oh yes, of course!” to my request for them to help look after my things while I make a trip to the restroom. And I gladly do the same when others ask this of me; I feel joy knowing that they can have some peace of mind while attending to nature’s call. 😉 I love it, not because I’m reckless, but because I appreciate that I feel safe enough to do so where I live. This to me is the mark of a healthy, well-regulated society, where we practice virtuous conduct, respect boundaries, and also have the capacity to be kind and look out for one another in little ways when needed. I’m not saying I do this anywhere and all the time, but I do relish these precious little social moments in the city I inhabit. Anybody with similar or different experiences? #nianlife #reminder #livebetter #mindfulness #social #city #health #wellbeing
TUNNEL VISION
A ride at the head of the train this week invited me to reflect on the times I have been approaching things and making decisions through tunnel vision. While there is usually a high level of focus with tunnel vision, our attention is also narrowed, selective, and restricted to that one goal or one perspective. The state of mind and body is often tensed. We tend to get stuck in our biases, many of which are unconscious, and we lose sight of possibilities and the fact that we do have other options. I reminded myself that mindfulness meditation is not primarily a practice of such intense focus. We cultivate the ability to sustain our attention on an object of attention, and we also train the mind to be aware of everything else that’s happening in our experience. This kind of attention is more relaxed, open, expansive, inclusive, all-encompassing. When we operate from such capacity, we see everything more clearly, and this clarity has the potential to liberate us from getting stuck in thoughts, emotions, opinions, beliefs in the headspace. The key to making this learning effective is the ability to bring this practice of open awareness “off the cushion” and into our life. This is when insight gets developed into lived wisdom. #tunnelvision #openawareness #nianlife #reminder #livebetter #mindfulness #learning
What would you call this - freedom or loneliness? My instinctive answer is "freedom", because it's a value close to heart, although I do acknowledge traces of loneliness I sometimes feel that drive me to nurture deeper connections with others. While meaningful relationships are key to our social health, we also practice a lot of solitude in mindful living - being by ourselves , learning to be at ease with whatever that arises in our mind and body, and taking ownership of our own life. This solitude doesn't mean we are lonely, because we know that even when we are alone, we do not exist or function independently of others, and we are a part of the larger ecosystem. In other words, we are never really alone. I'm curious - what would be your answer to this question, and why? #freedom #loneliness #solitude #mindfulliving #connection #nianlife #health #wellbeing
#thoughtoftheday
I am practicing parting attachment with the inner desire to posses and control.
—— “无我相、无人相、无众生相、无寿者相。”😊
One of the things I have been contemplating on, in regards to renunciation, are the Eight Worldly Concerns.
I shared this on linkedin today:
I had the opportunity to reflect on this Chinese phrase during a recent visit to a meditation centre in Malaysia. "舍得" (shě de) means "the willingness to part with". When we deconstruct the phrase, "舍" (shě) is to "give up", while "得" (dé) is "to gain". This attitude about life teaches us that we can only gain something when we are willing to give up or part with something else we have been holding on to. Of course, this does not mean that we give up in order to gain (like giving up old clothes so we can buy more new clothes, or selling your old car so you can splurge on a shiny new one), or we might get caught in the cycle of endless desires and dissatisfaction with what we have. I thought about how we practice "renunciation" in mindful urban living. We learn to part with what we could become attached to, from objects, experiences and desires, to ideologies and self-identities. While we may not go for the bigger renunciations like monastics do, we recognize that this "learning to part with" invites space to welcome something we intuitively know is better for our wellbeing. For me, parting with material possessions invites room for simplicity. Parting with memories and fantasies invites the ability to be more present with what's actually here with me. Parting with making judgements invites more kindness to myself and others. Parting with self-destructive habits invites the capacity to function more healthily. Parting with the need to control what I can't, invites freedom to do what I can. Parting with a belief invites more options and possibilities. Parting with a self-identity invites the chance to be more authentic. This is what "舍得" (shě de) means to me. And it's a really challenging practice, I have to admit. Every single day I'm discovering something new about renunciation. What about you? What are you learning to part with, and what are you inviting into your life as a result? #nianlife #mindfulness #renunciation #shede #urbanlife #wellbeing #reminder #livebetter