Mindfulness & The Law of Holes

If you have been digging yourself a hole, is it time to put down the shovel, for good?

I recently got acquainted with this old adage known as the law of holes - an analogy that reminds us of a wiser approach to changing our lives and living better.

I immediately saw a strong connection between the law of holes and the practice of mindfulness, and I'd like to share my interpretations in this article.

The law of holes doesn't seem to be widely discussed, and there are different variations and applications of it available out there for our reference.

For the purpose of this piece, I have whittled it down to three laws of holes, with the first law commonly known as such:

1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Awareness is key with the first law of holes.

We consciously recognise that we are in a hole (a metaphor for being in an unfavourable or undesirable situation), and that we are in the hole most likely because we have been digging it for ourselves.

Rather than living in denial or running away from the problem, we confront our own struggles squarely in the face and clearly see that much of the pain we are feeling has really been self-inflicted.

For example, that deep-seated anger we have been harbouring because of the stories we have been telling ourselves about someone that matters.

Or that paralysing anxiety that is taking over us because of the constant ruminating thoughts we have of "what-if" and "what could have been" scenarios.

Or that compulsion to continuously snack on something sweet because it offers temporary relief from what is making us feel uncomfortable.

Awareness is also the start of change.

Present-moment awareness immediately jolts us out of the autopilot mode of perpetuating our own struggles, and offers a full-frontal view of our situation as it is.

When we see our pain with such clarity, we also wish to stop continuing to inflict this pain upon ourselves.

When we see how deep the hole is, we tend to put down the shovel because we don't want to go deeper into the hole than we already are.

And then there is the second law:

2. When you stop digging, you are still in a hole.

We shouldn't stop our efforts for change at the stage of initial awareness.

Even when we have put down the shovel, we are still in the hole. Our problem has not gone away.

Because of years of conditioning and repeating the same patterns, we have the tendency to pick up that shovel and mindlessly start digging again.

Even with awareness, the stories will keep coming back to us, encouraging anger to once again arise; we will easily slip back into worrying and losing ourselves in imagining the worst-case scenarios; we will time and again give in to the impulse of reaching for another piece of candy whenever the familiar feeling of discomfort inevitably returns.

And therefore, I'd like to highlight a third law of holes that is imperative for real change:

3. Get out of the hole!

There is usually a lot of talk about recognising pain and struggle in the field of mindfulness, so much so that we begin to see mindfulness as a kind of resignation towards the suffering that is life.

The truth is, there isn't supposed to be a full stop after "life is suffering"...

Knowing that we are in a hole and putting down the shovel is not the end of the story.

As a matter of fact, getting out of the hole is what mindfulness practice is all about.

A big part of mindfulness is training ourselves to put down that shovel for good, and unlearning all the tendencies and behaviours that had played a part in getting ourselves into the hole in the first place.

It is about acquiring the skills we need to climb out of the hole we had dug for ourselves, and learning not to fall back in again or dig a new hole when we step on new grounds.

When we are able to observe our anger non-judgementally and without further reacting, our emotions can no longer overwhelm us.

When we are able to observe negative thought patterns without getting absorbed into them, we gain agency over what we want our attention to engage with.

And when we are able to sit with difficult experiences without doing anything in particular, we tamper our impulses and reduce the inclination to get controlled by desires for escape.

---

So as a recap, let's keep in mind the law of holes:

1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

2. When you stop digging, you are still in a hole.

3. Get out of the hole.

Wishing us all the best in realising these three laws in our mindfulness practice.

---